I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
