how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
