Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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