whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
