I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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