pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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