im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
