i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Please don't give away my fajitas
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
