do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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