amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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