It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
