oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
