I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
