and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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