I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My vagina is very pro this idea
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
