If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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