We won't sleep together?
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
