so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
