WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
