OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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