Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
