New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
