your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
