Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
