I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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