I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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