Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
