I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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