We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
