That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
