Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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