Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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