screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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