my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
