It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
