You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
