i need an iv and a liver transplant
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The air was thick with penises
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize