i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
