Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
