Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
