you traded sex for a burrito?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
