No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
