well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
