Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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