I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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