barbara walters just said penis...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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