maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
