so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
