Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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