Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
