Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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