You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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