Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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