I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
