Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
