His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
