Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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