so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
