I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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