I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
