I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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