dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize