My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
