yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
