the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
