Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize