Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
