i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
