Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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