We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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