Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
