im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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