So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
