don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
