where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
